Behind Enemy Lines

Wow! I've been in NJ for a whole week and haven't posted. Every time I have sat down to write, I become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information I have gained over the past week that I want to impart to my family and friends. Therefore, I sit and stare at a blank screen, sigh, and close my computer before I even BEGIN blogging. My sincerest apologies. I have promised one or two updates a week and I intend to keep that promise.

So instead of trying to cram all of the things I have learned and experienced while here in NJ, I have come up with a list of 5 Things You Should Know:
1. There is traffic. All the time. Everywhere. Moving quickly. Proceed with caution! I think every time I start my car, my heart starts beating faster and my knuckles turn white on the steering wheel.
2. Seton Hall has one of the most beautiful chapels I have ever seen. Seriously. I get to pray here EVERY DAY. And there's a side chapel dedicated to St. Elizabeth. I am so blessed!

3. NJ beaches have pebbles, not tiny shards of various shells everywhere. And giant clam shells. It was so bizarre to dig my toes into the sand and find pebbles rather than thousands of pieces of different shells. The only shells they had were along the water line were these giant clam shells. It's amazing that beaches can be so different.
4. You know you live in an apartment with Catholics when you have over 10 crosses in your apartment (we have 12). We have completely scoured our apartment and redecorated. My parents are the BEST and drove most of my stuff up to me this past weekend, so finally my room feels like I live there (it's pink and has pictures of Pope Benedict XVI...and books. Lots of books.)
5. Anticipation can drive you crazy! All week the missionaries have been looking forward to meeting the students and diving into our lives as missionaries at Seton Hall....well, after what seems like an endless weekend, they have arrived!

Our student leaders got here this afternoon. We have 25(ish) student leaders and are praying that we will end the year with over 60. We had them over for a meal at the women's apartment (fajitas and red velvet cake) followed by a game of Apples to Apples. Over the next two days we will get to spend more time with the 15 leaders who were able to come early. We'll talk about what it means to be a student leader and pray that their hearts are just set on fire by the Holy Spirit for the work He has for us this coming year. The women student leaders still haven't been split up between me and the other missionary, so we will get to know all the women and then invite them into discipleship with us. I get so nervous that they won't like me or wish they had been asked into leadership by the other woman missionary, but then I realize that is the Devil whispering prideful insecurities in my ear. I am here to do God's work. I know He has already chosen the women who I will work with this year, and each is for a reason. And I can't wait.

There are six schools in the NJ/NY area that are within an hour of each other. This past Sunday we were all able to gather at Montclair State University's Newman Center for Mass, dinner, and games. There were almost 30 missionaries there plus a few regional directors and 4 chaplains there. One of the chaplains, a Dominican (I LOVE Dominicans) serving at NYU, and I were talking about our jobs. He proudly told me that he was excited about his new assignment "behind enemy lines". He couldn't wait to begin his work at NYU and really gut the Devil from inside the Belly of the Beast. His enthusiasm, and really the excitement of all the missionaries and priests there, lifted my spirits and rekindled the passion I have for this ministry.

In the Magnificat this month, one of the meditations for the month revolved around Matthew 16:18 "And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it". The author remarks that he had never considered the obvious: that the gates need to be battered down. Battered down by an offensive Christian army. So often Christians get in the mindset of defense: defending the Church against the foe, etc., but Jesus told us to "Go forth unto all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." This Great Commissioning (Matthew 28:19-20), one of the central pillars of FOCUS, calls us to be soldiers for Christ. He is asking us to go behind enemy lines and win these battles for Him. With him as our battle shield, our sword, we cannot lose. (My FAVORITE hymn...third verse is the best)

But, some may ask "Can we decline to go to war?" I'm pretty comfortable in the life I have chosen. I am mildly successful and well liked. I make a pretty nice salary and my family is doing pretty well. Do I really have to do this thing that God is asking of me? Do I really have to fundraise my entire salary and move 20 hours from home where I know no one? Do I really have to join the fight? Can't I simply opt out? The chilling reply is "the war is here already." We cannot remain indifferent. We must choose a side. Every day I must wake up and choose to be an instrument in my God's hands, ready for the crosses He will give me that day. Ready to endure for the sake of the battle being waged at Seton Hall. I pray every day for the strength to be completely His, and I pray for all of you. I pray for the struggles you endure for love of Jesus Christ. United in Christ, we are a mighty army. And standing behind the Pope, the Rock, the gates of hell surely will not prevail.

For All The Saints

So it's been more than 'a day or two', but I still wanted to put these saints out there for those of you who may want to know. I also wanted to provide a little insight into the saints listed in the First Eucharistic Prayer. Many will be familiar apostles, but some will be slightly more obscure:

Peter the Apostle: First Pope and companion of Christ. Martyred in 64AD in Rome, Italy.
Paul the Apostle: Pharisee who experienced a dramatic conversion and became the apostle to the Gentiles. Martyred in 65AD in Rome, Italy.
Andrew the Apostle: First disciple, brother of Peter. Missionary in Asia Minor and Greece, and possibly parts of Poland and Russia. Martyred in Greece.
James the Greater: Called the 'greater' because he became an apostle before James the Lesser. Preached in Samaria, Judea, and Spain. Brother of John and first apostle to be martyred. Martyred in 44AD in Jerusalem.
John the Apostle: The beloved apostle, Our Lady was placed in his care at the foot of the cross by Jesus. Found churches in Asia Minor and baptized converts in Samaria. Died in 101AD in Ephesus.
Thomas the Apostle: Known for doubting Jesus' appearance to the apostles after the Resurrection. Preached in Parthia, Persia, and India. Martyred in 72AD in Mylapur, India.
James the Lesser: First bishop of Jerusalem. Brother of Jude, worked with Paul. Martyred in 62AD in Jerusalem.
Philip the Apostle: Preached in Greece and Asia Minor. Shy and practical, one of the twelve. Martyred in 80AD in Hierapolis, Phrygia.
Bartholomew the Apostle: Preached in Asia Minor, Ethiopia, India, and Armenia. Close friend of Philip. Writer. Martyred in Albanopolis, Armenia.
Matthew the Apostle: Former tax collector. Preached to the Jewish enclave in Ethiopia and other places in the east. Death unknown.
Simon the Apostle: Often called Zealot because of his zeal for the Jewish law. Evangelized in Egypt and Mesopotamia. Martyred in unknown location.
Jude Thaddeus: Cousin of Jesus. Preached in Syria, Mesopotamia, and Persia with St. Simon. Could exorcise pagan idols. Martyred in the first century in Persia.
Linus: Second pope. Mentioned in Paul's second letter to Timothy. Martyred in 76AD in Rome.
Cletus: Convert of St. Peter. Third pope. Martyred in 89AD.
Clement I: Fourth pope and apostolic father. One of the 70 apostles. Martyred in 101AD.
Sixtus I: Seventh pope. Concerned with the liturgy and procedures for priests and bishops. Martyred in 125AD in Rome, Italy. (Could possibly be Sixtus II)
Cornelius: 21st pope. Worked to maintain unity in the face of schism and apostasy. Martyred in 253AD.(I made an executive decision here: there is another Cornelius, the centurion who was converted by Jesus and had his whole family baptized and became a bishop; however, going with the theme of the past few being popes, I figured this is the guy they are talking about)
Cyprian of Carthage: Bishop of Carthage and Father of the Church. Martyred in 258AD in Carthage, North Africa. (again, another tricky one, but because of his dedication to preserving the faith, I believe this is the Cyprian the prayer refers to. The other Cyprian was a pagan magician that St. Justina converted then was martyred.)
Lawrence: Distributor of alms and "keeper of the treasures of the church". Martyred in 258AD in Rome, Italy.
Chrysogonus: Teacher of St. Anastasia. Arrested during the persecution of Diocletian. Comforted Anastasia with his letters. Martyred in 304AD in Aquileia, Italy.
John: Servant of the daughter of Constantine and refused to give up his faith. Secretly martyred in Rome, Italy.
Paul: Also a servant of the daughter of Constantine who refused to give up his faith. Secretly martyred in Rome, Italy.
Cosmas: Twin of St. Damian. Physician who didn't charge his patients. Martyred in 303AD.
Damian: Twin of St. Cosmas. Reported to have miraculously replaced a man's ulcered leg with a corpse's. Martyred in 303AD.
John the Baptist: Prophet who preceded Jesus. Martyred in 30AD in Machaerus.
Stephen the Martyr: Deacon and preacher. First martyr of the Church. Martyred in 33AD.
Matthias the Apostle: Replaced Judas Iscariot as one of the Twelve Apostles.
Barnabas the Apostle: Not one of the Twelve, but mentioned frequently in Acts with St. Paul. Founded the church in Antioch. Martyred in 61AD in Salamis.
Ignatius of Antioch: Succeeded St. Peter as bishop of Antioch. First writer to use the term The Catholic Church. Martyred in 107AD in Rome, Italy.
Alexander: My sources have failed me. There are numerous Alexander's but from the second article cited below, the scholar says that it's an Alexander who was martyred and buried in the cemetery of the Jordani.
Marcellinus: Priest known for his piety. Martyred with St. Peter in 304AD in Rome, Italy.
Peter the Exorcist: Exorcist credited with the conversion of several saints. Martyred with St. Marcellinus in 304AD in Rome, Italy.
Felicity: Convert and friend of St. Perpetua. Martyred in 203AD in Carthage, North Africa.
Perpetua: Convert, wife and mother. Martyred in 203AD in Carthage, North Africa.
Agatha of Sicily: Protected her virginity from the magistrate who tried to exploit her for it. Martyred in 250AD in Catania, Sicily.
Lucy of Syracuse: Prayed to St. Agatha that her mother would be healed and would not force her to marry. Both happened, but her fiancé sold her out to the governor who then ordered her to be killed. Martyred in 304AD in Syracuse, Sicily.
Agnes of Rome: Consecrated herself to God. Others attempted to force her to denounce her faith and her vow of virginity through pagan rituals and marriage, but she refused. Martyred in Rome, Italy.
Cecilia: Vowed her virginity to Christ, but was forced to marry. Converted her husband who then became a martyr. Martyred in 117AD in Rome, Italy.
Anastasia of Sirmium: Married a pagan. Spiritual student of St. Chrysogonus. Martyred in 304AD in Sirmium, Dalmatia.

I know that was a lot, but it truly was a labor of love. I learned so much! I also stumbled upon these two blog entries, which explain the why of the Eucharistic prayer a little better than I did, so here is part one and here is part two. I hope you all have enjoyed exploring the saints and have a new appreciation for the lengthy Eucharistic prayer.

In other news, I have arrived at Seton Hall and will dedicate time this weekend to filling you all in on how the transition and the first week went! I am so excited to be here!

The Seed of the Church

Ah, back in the world of blogging.

Since I have been back in Tampa, most of my time has been split between visiting mission partners and having quality time with my immediate family. My younger sister is about to enter her first year of college and my parents will officially be empty-nesters, so quality time is a must in my house for these few weeks.

I officially head to Seton Hall in one week! (Check out the counter that I wasted spent an hour trying to figure out) Stay tuned for more frequent updates of my life as a missionary.

In one of the many amazing conversations that I had with my mission partners these past few weeks, we were discussing the Eucharistic prayers used at Mass. Many times priests prefer using the shortest one (Eucharistic Prayer II or, as I have dubbed it, the "dewfall" prayer), but the new priest at this MP's parish had taken to saying the loooongest version (Eucharistic prayer I or, as I like to call it, the "all the saints" prayer). The priests at training liked to use this version as well. As the celebrant breezes through the close to 40 saints that are included in the prayer I always wonder who these people were. In fact, this MP remarked that she wished the priest would take the time in a homily to mention one of these saints a week so that the congregation could follow what was happening in the Eucharistic prayer. (Here is a link to the text of all 4 regularly used Eucharistic prayers, if you have no idea what I am talking about, or if you just want a refresher)

It just so happens that today, the feast of St. Sixtus II and his companions, that the priest centered his homily around Eucharistic Prayer I! I knew that I had to share the information with all of you! I know I will not do it justice, so if you are looking for a better explanation to the Eucharistic Prayers, I will point you in the direction of this book that seems to be a better source. Basically the priest said that the first Eucharistic Prayer commemorates the martyrs of Rome, the martyrs whose sacrifice made Christianity possible. Tertullian is famously quoted as saying that "the blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church". Without these amazing witnesses to budding Christianity, the Church would not be what she is today. So we celebrate the Eucharistic Sacrifice not only with the Church on earth, but we get to join those in heaven as well.

In the next day or two, my ambition is to post the list of the 40ish saints listed in Eucharistic Prayer I with a little description and a link to a more detailed page for each. I hope someone finds it useful! I know I will have tons of fun looking up these saints and I look forward to the next time our priest uses the "all the saints" prayer.

A World of Wanderers

My sister and I have been watching Heroes (the TV show that aired a few years ago with the actor who played Jess on Gilmore Girls - here's looking at you, my fellow Gilmore Girl enthusiasts from college). She is about a season and a half behind me, but she is quickly catching up. It's funny because she has all of these reactions and I just have to run with them even though I know what happens next season. I'm trying to be good, though, and not spoil the whole series. Just a bit of fluff and insight into the world of Megan this summer.

My dad and I have been going to daily Mass together. He started going for Fortnight of Freedom and has continued for the rest of the week. Because he works, he goes to the 7am Mass (as opposed to the 8:30). Once I realized he was going to Mass too, I decided to go with him. There is something about praying with your family that is beautiful, and I was raised to consider family time with God important. So when my alarm goes off at 6am, and I am sorely tempted to snooze it for another hour and a half of sleep, I roll out of bed because it is important for me to go to Mass with my dad.

This morning the first reading was a little intense.

"Yes, days are coming, says the Lord God, when I will send famine upon the land: Not a famine of bread, or thirst for water, but for hearing the word of the Lord. Then they shall wander from sea to sea and rove from the north to the east in search of the word of the Lord, but they shall not find it." ~Amos 8:11-12

Amos was a prophet to the northern tribes of Israel around 750 BC during the time of the divided kingdom, right before they were exiled into Assyria. (I know all of this thanks to my handy dandy Bible Timeline) The Israelites were cheating their neighbors and giving into the greed in their hearts. This dark time, the absence of the word of God, was to be their punishment for all of their disobedience to God. As one would say if we were in English class: "Foreshadowing!"

But this darkness does not sound unfamiliar. Aren't we living in an age where God's word is hard to find? And can't you see people wandering across the Earth searching for...something, they don't quite know what? That is why I am so glad that I am a missionary. I have been so blessed in my life: I was raised by loving parents who taught me about God; I had decent friends growing up, good ones even by the time I got to college; I was brought to FOCUS, God only knows how, where He fed my desperate desire to know Him; now I am continually fed by amazing examples of virtuous men and women daily. Yet not everyone's lives are like mine. In fact, 44% of American college students reported feeling symptoms of depression (source) and suicide is the third (some sources say second) leading cause of deaths among college students (source). They are searching for the word of Life but can't find it. I praise God for all of the work He is doing on college campuses, for the compassion He is showing to His disobedient children by bringing them His word through FOCUS and other organizations like us. Please pray for all of us who are wandering around the earth, starving for the word of the Lord.

"He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord" ~ Deuteronomy 8:3

Home Again

Happy July 4th everyone! I pray you have a blessed day with family and friends.

My life has been pretty crazy the past few days! Drove to Atlanta on Saturday with two amazing new missionaries - it's so strange to say: "See you at Conference!" - and got to my friend's house where 4 adorable children were waiting with a birthday cake for me (made from scratch...she's such a baker). That night we got a chance to catch up, which was so good. The next day we went to Mass and two of us headed for Florida while our host left to be a counselor at a LifeTeen camp. The drive both days was pretty uneventful: we loved the scenery in TN, clutched the steering wheel all the way through Atlanta (even on a weekend!), and shouted for joy once we hit the FL border. Kentucky was somewhere in there too...I might have been sleeping.

That night, I was able to talk with my sister for a long time, definitely longer than I should have, about life and a camp she had recently worked at. I was involved with that camp for a long time. It has such potential but was a bad trap for me spiritually. Listening to stories from her, I could see the true desire to be disciples of Christ and lead others to him, yet because of our humanity and lack of guidance, falling far short of that goal. One of the most important things I learned by joining FOCUS is the need for witnesses. The world doesn't need more teachers, they need witnesses.

I was definitely NOT the best witness through high school and the first half of college. My actions were one of a lazy, half-committed Catholic while I condemned those who had commitment problems of their own. Those were definitely not some of my better days. But having lived through them helped me realize my need to pray for the graces of compassion and understanding. And with being involved in FOCUS, I have realized how important it is not to excuse my behavior, but to truly hold myself to a higher standard. In order to impart your knowledge to another person, it is necessary to prove you can say such things. For example, if you want to teach Algebra, you have to graduate from college, proving proficiency in Math and Teaching. You have the intellectual authority to teach. The same goes with morals: we must have the moral high ground. And while that sounds condescending, if you are truly living a moral life, following Christ and His Church, you will be growing in the graces of charity and understanding. With these spiritual gifts, when you fraternally correct a brother or sister, you will not be condemning them because you will be speaking from the Holy Spirit. We cannot be leaders in faith walking behind or even with our brothers and sisters, we must walk ahead and show them the way.

The Beginning in the End

Today was the last day of New Staff Training.

The past week has been hard on everyone here. It seems sometime during week 5, everyone hits their wall. The wall that says, "I cannot smile, speak to, meet, hold the door open for, have coffee with, share a pew with one more person or I will explode. I need to leave NOW." I reached that point around lunchtime on Wednesday. I was over NST and just reallllly wanted to curl up on the comfy couch I know is waiting for me back home. Don't get me wrong, I have loved NST, and I know I will miss being here, but Saturday couldn't come soon enough. So this morning when I woke up, I steeled myself for the final classes, which happened to be about how to manage our finances as a missionary. Yippee. The most stimulating topic...(please tell me you caught a little of that sarcasm) Now it's not that I don't want to learn all of the information they gave us, but trying to explain company finances like taxes and policies, etc. to 150 people? It was difficult enough when I used to work at a law office and they explained it to me one on one. Then during the commissioning Mass, which was beautiful, I was too hot and started feeling sick again (still haven't been able to completely shake my nausea), and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep for two weeks.

BUT I had told a friend I was going to go to this end-of-NST bbq at a missionary's parents' lake house an hour and a half away. I couldn't help thinking walking out of Mass how stupid that was of me and how much I wanted to back out. Jesus pokes and prods us where He can heal us, so I wound up in my friend's car and slept for entire ride to the house. The house was so beautiful! I'm no expert on estimation, but I'd say there were at least 100 missionaries playing lawn games in the sloping back yard, jumping off the 30ft. platform, and racing cardboard boats at this house. I had a wonderful conversation with my mentor, whom I will not see until the conference in January, over dinner. Then a good friend looked like she was about to leave, and I knew I had to get back to get rest for the drive tomorrow, so I asked to ride back with her. Thank you Holy Spirit.

I was able to catch a ride with them. Although I only knew her really well, I fit in well with their easy camaraderie. We spent the ride singing along with the country station, talking in English accents and giving each other massages. Seriously. I have been in cars with 4 other women before...that doesn't happen. Missionaries are so life giving, always sacrificing for the good of another. These truly were my sisters in Christ and we were washing each other's feet. It was so wonderful! The only downside? I now want to stay another week to get to know these other 3 women better. Of course. It's so easy to overlook these little blessings, so I'm trying to be more aware of God's hand in my life. Moments like the car ride home where my love tank was filled up and I remembered why I love my job are truly a gift from the Ultimate Giver. He is so good.

Even though the moment is going to be bittersweet, I am excited to see one of my good friends. The drive from IL to FL is a good 17 hours, so a friend in Atlanta offered to let me and the other woman riding with me stop at her place overnight. She and I became good friends last semester and I miss her like crazy. And talk about sacrificial love, she is always thinking of others! (She's the one who I talked about last week with honor) I can't wait to give her a huge hug and talk far too long into the night. Pray for her as she leaves Sunday morning as well to be a camp counselor!

These are my beautiful BAC friends...the one from Atlanta is the second from the right. I miss them (you) all so much!

Busy Butterflies

To day that the past week has been crazy would be an understatement.

Last week after the silent retreat, I got sick and was out for a good 2 and a half days. It was so sad to miss the practicals (what we were learning in the main classes for the day), but it was so nice to see how much people cared about me. My teammates, my college, and friends I had made all texted me, asking if I was ok, bringing me lunch and water when I couldn't leave the room. Then this weekend I went on a day and a half prayer team training, and ended Saturday night with an etiquette dinner followed by a dance. The missionaries were taught how to waltz and salsa. The men were given the command "you are not allowed to be a wallflower. A woman may sit out of a dance if she chooses, but men must always offer the ladies an opportunity to dance." Needless to say, the women all grinned anticipating a night of dance while the men all groaned and rolled up their collared-shirt sleeves. Despite the slight groans, most of the men did a superb job of asking different women to dance, and by the end of the night they had mastered leading a simple waltz. It was nice as a woman on the dating fast to be asked to dance by a man without instantly panicking: 'Why did he do that? Does he like me? I now must scrutinize every encounter with him to see if he likes me.' Quite refreshing. And when the DJ had mercy on the poor men and their courage, this happens. Oh, I love being a missionary. Sunday...I'm really not sure what happened to Sunday.

Monday was my birthday! I woke up to a text from my mom (sent at the exact time I was born) and the day just got better from there. I had a package from home with my favorite cupcakes in them: chocolate chip cookie dough! :) I got to lead the rosary for all the first-years and someone told the MC it was my birthday, and he got up and announced it aaaaand everyone proceeded to sing me happy birthday. Then I got to have lunch with a beautiful friend who gave me a stunning drawing (not the one referenced earlier) and then my team came over with Cold Stone cupcakes and made the ENTIRE CAFETERIA sing me happy birthday. I blushed, but anyone who knows me, knows I loved every second. Later, I got to go to confession, which was beautiful, and did a little bit of work before going out with my college. We (plus our deans' boyfriends) went to a bar, which was practically deserted, and played cornhole (or bags) and darts. My team lost every time, but THE SWIMMING OLYMPIC QUALIFIERS WERE ON. So basically, Jesus loves me a lot. Oh, did I mention that while we were there, both Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte swam the 400m IM? Yeah, He loves me A LOT. As a side, thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! I promise I will thank all of you individually once I'm back in Tampa.

So yesterday when I woke up and realized how much I had to do, I sat down and prioritized. With only 4 days of training left and seemingly exponentially greater mountains of "fun"d-work to do, I made the decision to put off some phone calls and facebook messages to friends until I got home. I feel so guilty about doing so, but I know (hope) they (you) will understand. So if you are reading this and I should have called you, I am immensely sorry and will call you as soon as FOCUS-missionary-ly possible.

So I wanted to go into a little more depth about the retreat on Saturday. It is an area of my spiritual life that is continually growing but has become a huge part of my prayer time. Also, Peter Herbeck came and talked about the Holy Spirit on Monday, so kinda appropriate. Prayer teams are rooted in the charismatic movement of the Catholic Church.  The past few popes as well as calling for a New Evangelization, have talked about a New Pentacost, a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit. My understanding of the charismatic movement is that one invites the Holy Spirit more intimately into one's life. You pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit into your soul. I was introduced to the charismatic movement last year through Freedom to Worship, a movement in Tampa, and my spiritual director for the past year, who I met there, was helping me explore the Holy Spirit and His gifts in my life. Though I had experienced being prayed over a few times and was learning about the Holy Spirit and His gifts, I had never learned how to pray over someone else. It is such a powerful and healing experience!

We had three teaching sessions followed by a practical session, where we got to practice what we had just learned. In the first, we learned how to listen to what God had to say to us for the other person. And no matter what it was, you shouldn't be afraid to say it. The speaker gave an example that when he was praying over someone and listening for the Lord, he kept thinking (or receiving, same thing) "I hate mommies and daddies". He was like, I can't say that! Jesus doesn't hate our parents! What is this nonsense? But the phrase kept repeating in his head, so finally he said "Um, this may sound strange, but I think the Lord wants me to tell you: 'I hate mommies and daddies'". The woman promptly burst into tears. It turns out she had been abused and she used to call it 'mommies and daddies'. Moral of the story: if the Spirit moves you, don't be afraid to respond. Now you may be thinking, as I was, Megan, that's an experienced, spiritual man. That could never happen to me. I am here to offer you hope in the form of two more stories. When people were listening for me, this guy, whom I had never met before, was in my group and said, "My stomach hurt, and I just kept getting the word 'nausea'". If you look up to the beginning of my post and I said I had been sick? I'd been feeling nauseous for 3 days at that point. Hadn't told him about it. Story two: I was praying over another girl I had just met and kept seeing light and feeling open spaces. That was the best way I could explain it. What does that even mean? But she looked at me when I told her that and I later heard from a friend that what I had said/received from the Spirit 'spoke to her soul'.

If you have never experienced prayer ministry, I highly encourage you to look into it. It is so powerful and I feel the closest to God when I am being prayed over or praying over others. He really does want to heal our wounds and comfort our souls.