Silence

So if anyone was wondering why my blog has been barren for the past few days (I have been excited that I've only allowed one day to pass without updating readers on the happenings of NST, hopefully that continues to campus, where it actually counts...), I have had the privilege of being on a silent retreat. It was a truly beautiful experience. The retreat started at Friday at 8pm and lasted until Sunday after Mass was over (around 6pm). I called my dad after Mass to wish him a happy Father's Day and mentioned that I had been on a silent retreat. He responded as most sane people would, teasing that the only reason I called was because I needed to talk after so much silence. I was surprised by my own answer when I told him that I really didn't feel the need to talk more than usual. You see, we were encouraged to spend our silence meditating on God and talking WITH Him. So I had talked just about as much as normal, just to my Savior, my Heavenly Father, and my Guide rather than to all the other people I usually put before Him. It was so refreshing!

The retreat was a VERY shortened version of the Ignatian Camino Retreat. For a year St. Ignatius traveled to different towns, having discussions with the smartest people in each town, recording all he had learned and his own thoughts and meditations. The Jesuits now use those notes as a 30 day silent retreat called the Spiritual Exercises. The Jesuits have shortened this retreat to about a week and we had a modified version that lasted for about 2 days. Basically Ignatius leads you to a deeper understanding of God and His love and mercy for you using your imagination as a guide. It was really beautiful to be able to use my imagination to place myself with God right before the Incarnation, or at the start of creation. God really blessed my meditations and helped me open up my soul to Him a little more than I had before.

I missed having Father's Day at home with my dad, but if I had to spend it with anyone else, I'm glad it was here surrounded by such holy spiritual fathers. As I've said before, these priests are just top notch. Lately they've been outdoing themselves on their homilies. I am horrible and awkward with conclusions of anything: conversations, papers, speeches, etc. and God is just showing me how amazing He is. These homilies start with an intriguing story progress naturally into deep theological and thought provoking ground and end with one-line zingers that seem to have a life of their own and float around the chapel whispering in our ears long after the priest has resumed his seat. As the words hang in the silence, my jaw hits the floor and I can't help but gaze at the Crucifix in awe and grin. God is just so GOOD!

Also, this is the chapel we get to pray in every day:

I wish I had a better picture to share of the altar...it really is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen - very conducive to meditating.

Today we talked about two more missionary virtues: honor and trust in God. Our college talked a lot about honor. Honor is something inherent to all human beings and should be given to them in the right time and place simply because they have dignity and worth. One simple way of doing this is to greet someone when you pass them. Weird, right? because we live in a culture of headphones glued in our ears, eyes glued to our cellphones, and lips glued shut. Next time you are walking around sometime, take a moment to notice how people walk. And when someone happens to be looking up, gather up the courage to send Christ's love to them through your smile and a genuine "hello". They deserve to be honored that way.

As missionaries, sometimes we can be hyper critical of ourselves and focus on things that we did wrong or could do better, rather than things that went right. That happened tonight as we discussed honor. We started talking about when it was hard to honor others (when they don't honor us, when we're tired, when we are distracted by other things to do) and how we could work on that this coming year. Then as we were wrapping up, our dean observed that we had been discussing lack of honor a lot, so she wanted us to share a time when we were honored. As we went around the room, everyone's mood was lifted when we heard how each other had been honored. I want to honor my friend who honored me by sharing with you the instance I chose. I am the kind of person who enjoys finding out tiny details about my friends and using them to surprise them (learning someone's favorite candy bar and buying it for them on a Thursday, just because) and I love doing it, but outside my family, I hadn't really experienced it a lot. A transfer girl and I had started to get to know each other second semester and became pretty good friends. I was working on my thesis and once it was finished, after months of hard work and stressing everyone out, I presented it to my professors and friends. This particular friend wasn't able to make it because she had a Spanish exam. Well she rushed through her exam and raced back to the bottom of the building I presented in and was waiting for me after my presentation with a bottle of wine and a bouquet of colorful daisies, wishing me congratulations. I am so blessed to have this woman in my life. She is a constant source of comfort and strength and love.

So how have you been honored lately? How have you honored others in return?