The Beginning in the End

Today was the last day of New Staff Training.

The past week has been hard on everyone here. It seems sometime during week 5, everyone hits their wall. The wall that says, "I cannot smile, speak to, meet, hold the door open for, have coffee with, share a pew with one more person or I will explode. I need to leave NOW." I reached that point around lunchtime on Wednesday. I was over NST and just reallllly wanted to curl up on the comfy couch I know is waiting for me back home. Don't get me wrong, I have loved NST, and I know I will miss being here, but Saturday couldn't come soon enough. So this morning when I woke up, I steeled myself for the final classes, which happened to be about how to manage our finances as a missionary. Yippee. The most stimulating topic...(please tell me you caught a little of that sarcasm) Now it's not that I don't want to learn all of the information they gave us, but trying to explain company finances like taxes and policies, etc. to 150 people? It was difficult enough when I used to work at a law office and they explained it to me one on one. Then during the commissioning Mass, which was beautiful, I was too hot and started feeling sick again (still haven't been able to completely shake my nausea), and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and sleep for two weeks.

BUT I had told a friend I was going to go to this end-of-NST bbq at a missionary's parents' lake house an hour and a half away. I couldn't help thinking walking out of Mass how stupid that was of me and how much I wanted to back out. Jesus pokes and prods us where He can heal us, so I wound up in my friend's car and slept for entire ride to the house. The house was so beautiful! I'm no expert on estimation, but I'd say there were at least 100 missionaries playing lawn games in the sloping back yard, jumping off the 30ft. platform, and racing cardboard boats at this house. I had a wonderful conversation with my mentor, whom I will not see until the conference in January, over dinner. Then a good friend looked like she was about to leave, and I knew I had to get back to get rest for the drive tomorrow, so I asked to ride back with her. Thank you Holy Spirit.

I was able to catch a ride with them. Although I only knew her really well, I fit in well with their easy camaraderie. We spent the ride singing along with the country station, talking in English accents and giving each other massages. Seriously. I have been in cars with 4 other women before...that doesn't happen. Missionaries are so life giving, always sacrificing for the good of another. These truly were my sisters in Christ and we were washing each other's feet. It was so wonderful! The only downside? I now want to stay another week to get to know these other 3 women better. Of course. It's so easy to overlook these little blessings, so I'm trying to be more aware of God's hand in my life. Moments like the car ride home where my love tank was filled up and I remembered why I love my job are truly a gift from the Ultimate Giver. He is so good.

Even though the moment is going to be bittersweet, I am excited to see one of my good friends. The drive from IL to FL is a good 17 hours, so a friend in Atlanta offered to let me and the other woman riding with me stop at her place overnight. She and I became good friends last semester and I miss her like crazy. And talk about sacrificial love, she is always thinking of others! (She's the one who I talked about last week with honor) I can't wait to give her a huge hug and talk far too long into the night. Pray for her as she leaves Sunday morning as well to be a camp counselor!

These are my beautiful BAC friends...the one from Atlanta is the second from the right. I miss them (you) all so much!

Busy Butterflies

To day that the past week has been crazy would be an understatement.

Last week after the silent retreat, I got sick and was out for a good 2 and a half days. It was so sad to miss the practicals (what we were learning in the main classes for the day), but it was so nice to see how much people cared about me. My teammates, my college, and friends I had made all texted me, asking if I was ok, bringing me lunch and water when I couldn't leave the room. Then this weekend I went on a day and a half prayer team training, and ended Saturday night with an etiquette dinner followed by a dance. The missionaries were taught how to waltz and salsa. The men were given the command "you are not allowed to be a wallflower. A woman may sit out of a dance if she chooses, but men must always offer the ladies an opportunity to dance." Needless to say, the women all grinned anticipating a night of dance while the men all groaned and rolled up their collared-shirt sleeves. Despite the slight groans, most of the men did a superb job of asking different women to dance, and by the end of the night they had mastered leading a simple waltz. It was nice as a woman on the dating fast to be asked to dance by a man without instantly panicking: 'Why did he do that? Does he like me? I now must scrutinize every encounter with him to see if he likes me.' Quite refreshing. And when the DJ had mercy on the poor men and their courage, this happens. Oh, I love being a missionary. Sunday...I'm really not sure what happened to Sunday.

Monday was my birthday! I woke up to a text from my mom (sent at the exact time I was born) and the day just got better from there. I had a package from home with my favorite cupcakes in them: chocolate chip cookie dough! :) I got to lead the rosary for all the first-years and someone told the MC it was my birthday, and he got up and announced it aaaaand everyone proceeded to sing me happy birthday. Then I got to have lunch with a beautiful friend who gave me a stunning drawing (not the one referenced earlier) and then my team came over with Cold Stone cupcakes and made the ENTIRE CAFETERIA sing me happy birthday. I blushed, but anyone who knows me, knows I loved every second. Later, I got to go to confession, which was beautiful, and did a little bit of work before going out with my college. We (plus our deans' boyfriends) went to a bar, which was practically deserted, and played cornhole (or bags) and darts. My team lost every time, but THE SWIMMING OLYMPIC QUALIFIERS WERE ON. So basically, Jesus loves me a lot. Oh, did I mention that while we were there, both Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte swam the 400m IM? Yeah, He loves me A LOT. As a side, thank you to all of you who wished me a happy birthday! I promise I will thank all of you individually once I'm back in Tampa.

So yesterday when I woke up and realized how much I had to do, I sat down and prioritized. With only 4 days of training left and seemingly exponentially greater mountains of "fun"d-work to do, I made the decision to put off some phone calls and facebook messages to friends until I got home. I feel so guilty about doing so, but I know (hope) they (you) will understand. So if you are reading this and I should have called you, I am immensely sorry and will call you as soon as FOCUS-missionary-ly possible.

So I wanted to go into a little more depth about the retreat on Saturday. It is an area of my spiritual life that is continually growing but has become a huge part of my prayer time. Also, Peter Herbeck came and talked about the Holy Spirit on Monday, so kinda appropriate. Prayer teams are rooted in the charismatic movement of the Catholic Church.  The past few popes as well as calling for a New Evangelization, have talked about a New Pentacost, a great outpouring of the Holy Spirit. My understanding of the charismatic movement is that one invites the Holy Spirit more intimately into one's life. You pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit into your soul. I was introduced to the charismatic movement last year through Freedom to Worship, a movement in Tampa, and my spiritual director for the past year, who I met there, was helping me explore the Holy Spirit and His gifts in my life. Though I had experienced being prayed over a few times and was learning about the Holy Spirit and His gifts, I had never learned how to pray over someone else. It is such a powerful and healing experience!

We had three teaching sessions followed by a practical session, where we got to practice what we had just learned. In the first, we learned how to listen to what God had to say to us for the other person. And no matter what it was, you shouldn't be afraid to say it. The speaker gave an example that when he was praying over someone and listening for the Lord, he kept thinking (or receiving, same thing) "I hate mommies and daddies". He was like, I can't say that! Jesus doesn't hate our parents! What is this nonsense? But the phrase kept repeating in his head, so finally he said "Um, this may sound strange, but I think the Lord wants me to tell you: 'I hate mommies and daddies'". The woman promptly burst into tears. It turns out she had been abused and she used to call it 'mommies and daddies'. Moral of the story: if the Spirit moves you, don't be afraid to respond. Now you may be thinking, as I was, Megan, that's an experienced, spiritual man. That could never happen to me. I am here to offer you hope in the form of two more stories. When people were listening for me, this guy, whom I had never met before, was in my group and said, "My stomach hurt, and I just kept getting the word 'nausea'". If you look up to the beginning of my post and I said I had been sick? I'd been feeling nauseous for 3 days at that point. Hadn't told him about it. Story two: I was praying over another girl I had just met and kept seeing light and feeling open spaces. That was the best way I could explain it. What does that even mean? But she looked at me when I told her that and I later heard from a friend that what I had said/received from the Spirit 'spoke to her soul'.

If you have never experienced prayer ministry, I highly encourage you to look into it. It is so powerful and I feel the closest to God when I am being prayed over or praying over others. He really does want to heal our wounds and comfort our souls.

Silence

So if anyone was wondering why my blog has been barren for the past few days (I have been excited that I've only allowed one day to pass without updating readers on the happenings of NST, hopefully that continues to campus, where it actually counts...), I have had the privilege of being on a silent retreat. It was a truly beautiful experience. The retreat started at Friday at 8pm and lasted until Sunday after Mass was over (around 6pm). I called my dad after Mass to wish him a happy Father's Day and mentioned that I had been on a silent retreat. He responded as most sane people would, teasing that the only reason I called was because I needed to talk after so much silence. I was surprised by my own answer when I told him that I really didn't feel the need to talk more than usual. You see, we were encouraged to spend our silence meditating on God and talking WITH Him. So I had talked just about as much as normal, just to my Savior, my Heavenly Father, and my Guide rather than to all the other people I usually put before Him. It was so refreshing!

The retreat was a VERY shortened version of the Ignatian Camino Retreat. For a year St. Ignatius traveled to different towns, having discussions with the smartest people in each town, recording all he had learned and his own thoughts and meditations. The Jesuits now use those notes as a 30 day silent retreat called the Spiritual Exercises. The Jesuits have shortened this retreat to about a week and we had a modified version that lasted for about 2 days. Basically Ignatius leads you to a deeper understanding of God and His love and mercy for you using your imagination as a guide. It was really beautiful to be able to use my imagination to place myself with God right before the Incarnation, or at the start of creation. God really blessed my meditations and helped me open up my soul to Him a little more than I had before.

I missed having Father's Day at home with my dad, but if I had to spend it with anyone else, I'm glad it was here surrounded by such holy spiritual fathers. As I've said before, these priests are just top notch. Lately they've been outdoing themselves on their homilies. I am horrible and awkward with conclusions of anything: conversations, papers, speeches, etc. and God is just showing me how amazing He is. These homilies start with an intriguing story progress naturally into deep theological and thought provoking ground and end with one-line zingers that seem to have a life of their own and float around the chapel whispering in our ears long after the priest has resumed his seat. As the words hang in the silence, my jaw hits the floor and I can't help but gaze at the Crucifix in awe and grin. God is just so GOOD!

Also, this is the chapel we get to pray in every day:

I wish I had a better picture to share of the altar...it really is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen - very conducive to meditating.

Today we talked about two more missionary virtues: honor and trust in God. Our college talked a lot about honor. Honor is something inherent to all human beings and should be given to them in the right time and place simply because they have dignity and worth. One simple way of doing this is to greet someone when you pass them. Weird, right? because we live in a culture of headphones glued in our ears, eyes glued to our cellphones, and lips glued shut. Next time you are walking around sometime, take a moment to notice how people walk. And when someone happens to be looking up, gather up the courage to send Christ's love to them through your smile and a genuine "hello". They deserve to be honored that way.

As missionaries, sometimes we can be hyper critical of ourselves and focus on things that we did wrong or could do better, rather than things that went right. That happened tonight as we discussed honor. We started talking about when it was hard to honor others (when they don't honor us, when we're tired, when we are distracted by other things to do) and how we could work on that this coming year. Then as we were wrapping up, our dean observed that we had been discussing lack of honor a lot, so she wanted us to share a time when we were honored. As we went around the room, everyone's mood was lifted when we heard how each other had been honored. I want to honor my friend who honored me by sharing with you the instance I chose. I am the kind of person who enjoys finding out tiny details about my friends and using them to surprise them (learning someone's favorite candy bar and buying it for them on a Thursday, just because) and I love doing it, but outside my family, I hadn't really experienced it a lot. A transfer girl and I had started to get to know each other second semester and became pretty good friends. I was working on my thesis and once it was finished, after months of hard work and stressing everyone out, I presented it to my professors and friends. This particular friend wasn't able to make it because she had a Spanish exam. Well she rushed through her exam and raced back to the bottom of the building I presented in and was waiting for me after my presentation with a bottle of wine and a bouquet of colorful daisies, wishing me congratulations. I am so blessed to have this woman in my life. She is a constant source of comfort and strength and love.

So how have you been honored lately? How have you honored others in return?

Looking for Loopholes

Seriously, we are the most blessed group of individuals on the planet.

But before I get to that, I see people's comments and I tried to reply yesterday, but I'm pretty sure I failed. So! My apologies to people who feel neglected by my non-response. To answer the question of when the picture will be revealed, I have no idea. As you can tell we're pretty busy. I think our hope is to have at least a sketch done by the end of training (which is only 2 weeks away!). It's a pretty intense image...both the picture and the artist's skills are worth the wait. I will keep everyone updated.

Also, I have no idea how to let people 'follow' me. Apparently that's not working either. So if anyone has any insight into either of these two issues, please let me know. :)

So back to being blessed.

We have the most amazing visiting priests coming to training. They are holy and do wonderful things for my view of the priesthood. We are also blessed to have had four Sisters of Life and four Dominican Sisters of Mary (Ann Arbor) with us for a few weeks. What holy and beautiful examples. More specifically, today's homily really bridged the gap for me between the gospel reading and everyday life. For four consecutive days (starting yesterday) we read about Jesus addressing the law. He sees the Pharisees living the letter of the law, but not the spirit and basically says, when you are before God, your 'reasoning' will be seen for the weak excuses that they are. The priest was brilliant! He started the homily with a story of a man who had 2 DUI's and then crashed a snowmobile into a woman's house while intoxicated. The court ruled that because the man was not driving a car on the road (snowmobile into the side of a house) it technically wasn't his third strike, so he could keep his license. Point being that we let the letter of the law get in the way of logic. Obviously this man does not respect the responsibility that comes with having a license. Take it away. Then he slid in "but this is also the country where we have ruled that an abortion is not the killing of a child, as if anyone has ever seen a woman give birth to a plant or another species. I digress." It was amazing.

Aside from the priest being absolutely amazing, his homily really made me think. How often do I try to find loopholes? How many times do I let myself say something was ok because it followed the letter of the law? As Christians, we are called to follow Christ and be imitator of Him. So let's follow Him the way He asks us to: with our hearts which speak to us the fulfillment of the law, and stop hoping we'll get off on a technicality.

The Great Commission

God sends just the right people into our lives at just the right times. I had two amazing conversations today that truly lifted my spirits. Today, a fellow first year got up and basically said, 'Hey, we're all being attacked by the Devil right now. But we're all going through it together. So let's pray together and love God together and fight Satan together.' It was totally what I needed. I've been so spiritually attacked the past month and a half, and it increased exponentially once I got to New Staff Training. Sometimes we forget that we're not alone in this seemingly un-winable battle. We have our family, our friends, our mission partners, our fellow missionaries, our students to turn to for support and love. And let's not forget that the only way we can win these battles is to throw ourselves into the endless mercy of our Father. Ask Him to hide us in the wounds of His Son so the Evil One will not prevail (on a side note, you all should pray the Anima Christi - one very powerful prayer).

Conversation #1 was with a potential mission partner, but more than that, she has been a staple in my life at the parish my family has attended for over a decade. She had never really heard of FOCUS before, so I was really able to start from the beginning, no preconceived notions or judgments about us either good or bad, and go through my love story with God and the part FOCUS played in it. We got to talk about how FOCUS missionaries go through similar struggles as youth ministers, DRE's, and other ministry positions within the Church. How we all need each other to strengthen the mission of each person, because sometimes it feels like you're just spinning your wheels. But to know you can pick up the phone and someone else will know exactly what you're talking about and encourage you to go back to where it all begins: prayer and your relationship with/trust in our Lord.

Conversation #2 happened toward the end of the night. A girl I had lunch with probably the second day I was here. She is just such a vibrant personality and we formed a loose friendship somehow within the maybe 30 minutes we shared a meal together. The following 2.5 weeks, we have said hello and just loved each other like sisters without really spending any more time together. Today I had an image come to me in meditating upon the Sorrowful Mysteries that I really wanted drawn, and as I have no artistic ability, I needed to turn elsewhere. I happened to know this girl was an artist. Now, I have had other images come to me in prayer, yet I have never felt the desire to see them drawn. And I wasn't sure if asking her to draw it would work out. But at 10 o'clock tonight, she was in my room where we talked about Mary, the rosary, the Sorrowful Mysteries, St. Mary Magdelene and that was just when we were discussing the sketch she would do for me. She shared with me that she had been praying for a deeper devotion to the rosary. And here I was asking for a picture of my meditation on the Sorrowful Mysteries. God answers prayers.

We continued talking and discovered we both have an affinity toward the charismatic movement within the Church. So naturally the conversation moved to the Holy Spirit and the ways Jesus speaks to us in prayer. The conversation was like a breath of fresh air. I feel God has been asking me for perseverance in prayer because it is a virtue I struggle with. I have been a little discouraged with this, but talking with this woman revitalized me, made me excited to go back to prayer determined to be patient and grow in perseverance.

Ending the conversation, we talked about how the readings for the past two weeks seem to be catered to missionaries. As if the Holy Spirit whispered in the ears of those who decided the reading cycle that in 1998 a missionary organization would be founded and their training would take place in the few weeks after Easter, so plan accordingly. Discussing this option, as it is entirely plausible, we decided that it could be that the missionary pattern seen here is actually present throughout the whole of the Bible, especially the New Testament, and this theme has nothing to do with FOCUS in particular, but rather the commissioning of the entire Church. For Jesus said, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age." (Matthew 28:19-20)

Sobriety, Chastity, and Excellence

I was not feeling the best this weekend. Our crazy busy schedule threw my body for a loop, that plus the various germs floating around kept me in bed most of the weekend. My plan worked, however because this morning, I was able to get out of bed and go to classes. Made it all the way through the day, too! Praise Jesus!

Although I was sleeping the weekend away I heard about what went on at the men's and women's nights on Sunday. I can't help but brag about the awesomeness of the FOCUS men. Look at what our men did! They surrounded a pornography store, brought the monstrance with them, the real presence of Jesus Christ who is Lord inside, and prayed for the store to close and that the workers' would find new jobs. Why would they pray for a store to close in this economy? For the women. Ok, for the men, too. Basically they value the dignity of all human people. They hate to see women objectified and men tempted to stray from the path to happiness. And I'll be over here, on my dating fast, for a whole year. Right.

The women went to a panel on how to be a woman missionary on campus. Apparently, it was very helpful and practical. But I was overjoyed when I heard that Fr. James Brent came and gave a short presentation on the Angelic Warfare Confraternity, offering a chance to be inducted on Tuesday. I heard about the Confraternity through a friend who has close ties to the Dominican sisters in Nashville, TN. You can find more information about the Confraternity here, and I highly encourage you to! Basically, it is a group of men and women both in heaven and on earth who pray for each other daily and help each other with a specific virtue, in this case chastity. It's an amazing group and I can't wait to renew my dedication to the Confraternity and welcome in new brothers and sisters tomorrow!

Chastity is a big deal at FOCUS. It's part of the "big three": sobriety, chastity, and excellence. Every person asked into discipleship has to already display these characteristics, and promise to uphold them as an example on campus. This is true even more so for missionaries. We are expected to live according to these virtues. Now there are many other wonderful virtues FOCUS could have chosen as pride of place, but as these three are what college students struggle with most today, these are how we want to lead by example.

Today we had Fr. James (mentioned above) who, as a Dominican, studies a lot and therefore is smarter than a very large population of the world, come and teach us basically his entire semester course on reason and faith in a little under 5 hours. It. Was. AMAZING. Could have something to do with the fact that I'm a theology major...hmm. He gave us tough questions and oppositions that he, and other Catholics, has come across in his life and gave us very practical ways to counter these objections. I love that God is Truth and therefore, what I learn by faith can be double-checked, or defended. Honestly, it was one of the best classes we've had here so far. I cannot even begin to do it justice.

Lastly, a picture from our Corpus Christi procession Sunday morning after Mass. Look at all of those priests! So blessed.

I am Barabbas

For the last three days of this week, the first year missionaries had Bible Study class for 3 hours in the morning. Some of you may be thinking, "Seriously? That's a long time! I can't even handle it an hour a week!" Firstly, I'm a theology major, so anything anyone can teach me about anything remotely Catholic is intriguing. Secondly, our Bible Study classes were taught by Jeff Cavins. Yes, you read correctly. The author of The Great Adventure Bible Series came to Champaign and taught us his Bible Timeline for three whole days. Basically, we are the luckiest first year class in the history of FOCUS. 

If you haven't heard of The Great Adventure Bible Timeline, you should really go check it out. The link will take you to The Great Adventure page where you can learn about the different studies offered. Whether you are a beginner or busy and want to take the 8 week fly over the whole Bible or are ready to commit to multiple years of Bible Studies (like my parents), you will not regret taking these studies. My parents have already lead the 24-week look through the Bible (Jeff refers to it as taking a jeep ride through the country of the Bible), the Matthew study, the Acts study, the Revelation study, and they will be leading the Epic study in the fall. They really love these studies.

Jeff's study does what a Bible Study should do: tell the story of Salvation History, making connections between the different books and showing how the New Testament fulfills the old. I'll list one of my favorites here, maybe it will inspire you to ask your parish about having the Bible Timeline there. In the Old Testament, there are a lot of names thrown around as the title of God's people: Hebrews, Israel, Judah, etc. What most people don't know is that they are not always interchangeable. Around the year 930BC, the Hebrew kingdom was divided into the north, called Israel, and the south, called Judah. The name Judah, for the southern Hebrews is where we get the name Jews from. The northern group was conquered by the Assyrians and sent into 5 cities in the north where they intermarried with the natives (a big no-no for the Hebrews) and they became called Samaritans. The Jews hated the Samaritans because they had broken Hebrew law by intermarrying with the natives and had forsaken the covenant with God. But a prophet to Israel (the northern tribes) told of a day when they would be brought back into a covenant with God by a Messiah. Fast forward to Jesus (a Jew), specifically John 4: one day he enters Samaria and sees a (Samaritan aka ritually unclean) woman at a well. He asks her to draw water for him. Dialogue ensues about living water, etc. but then Jesus asks her to go fetch her husband. She says she does not have a husband. He says that is correct because she has had FIVE HUSBANDS and the one she has now is not her husband!!! Coincidence between five cities and five husbands? I think not! I never would have thought of that on my own, the Great Adventure opened my eyes to so many amazing a beautiful things in the Bible.

Here is one half of the room during the second day of the series:

One final story before this post ends and you all immediately email your parishes demanding this amazing study be offered there: In honor of the original Passover when the Hebrews escaped from Egypt, during Jesus' time, Pilate would release one prisoner to the Jews. Pilate found no fault in Jesus and assumed he could release him because of the Passover. But there was another man, Barabbas. Barabbas means "son of the father". He was a murder, a rioter, a bandit, an all around sinful and awful man, a son of the Father. Yet he is set free. I am Barabbas. I am a child of the Father. I am as Barabbas was, covered in sin and unworthy to be spared of my punishment. But Jesus and His Father chose to set me free. This is what the world needs right now, they need to be told that there is Someone who loves them so much He took our punishment so we could be with Him for eternity. There is nothing more beautiful than that.

Scavenger Hunts and Testimonies

The more I get to know my college and my future team mates, the more God shows me how beautiful they are.

Last night we had women's rec again. It was a scavenger hunt within a 2 mile radius. Our two deans were at a station on campus, so they couldn't run with us, and one of the girls is currently at her graduation! This is why there are only five of us pictured. And the girl on the end, next to me, has a stress fracture, so she didn't do the hunt with us. So that leaves a total of four girls running across campus. At the beginning, they said to take this opportunity to grow closer as a college. I was thinking, right, we're going to be so focused on the hunt, we won't have time to talk! But I was pleasantly surprised that for the hour we were on the hunt, the stretches between the stations were filled with easy talk and bonding moments. 

One of the best things about the whole night was that there were two runners on our team, and I am most definitely NOT a runner, or really an exercise out of the pool kind of girl. So I was trying to keep up, but knew I couldn't make it. The other girls realized this, and they assured me saying we could walk whenever I needed to. It was a humbling and wonderful night: I would push myself as hard as I could, but I had to recognize when I couldn't run anymore and ask them to stop. And every single time they did, and no one rolled their eyes or even really thought twice about it. We would then stop and walk and chat some more. It was so nice to be a part of this kind of team and to witness true charity.

The picture above is of the girl missionaries going to Seton Hall! Our team director got us XL shirts (really, a wise decision on his part - no girl wants to get a shirt that's too small and be embarrassed to wear it) and my two female teammates decided to try and fit into one shirt...and they did! I'm not actually in the shirt, but am standing behind them. The more I get to know of them, the more excited I am to spend the next year with them.

Yesterday afternoon our team spent the afternoon sharing our testimonies with each other. It was really awesome to learn so much about my teammates in such a short span of time. Really, how else would you learn about some of the trials that have gotten people to where they are today in such a short amount of time if not in a testimony. I was in awe of some of the things my teammates shared and am so excited and honored to be serving with them.

Russia Missions

So yesterday we had a class about FOCUS conferences and missions. I have experienced first-hand the transformative power of the conferences, in fact one of those conferences turned my faith life around and brought me into a relationship with Jesus Christ. One thing I haven't done is mission. I've been to homeless retreats and raised money for the Souper Bowl, I was blessed to go on pilgrimage to Lourdes and World Youth Day. However, I have not had the opportunity to go on mission. Steve Pries, an amazing man of God, shared with us that mission trips are game-changers. The personal testimonies I heard at this session prompted me to start turning my dream of going on mission into a reality.

So where to go? I can't quite explain it, so if you ask, I won't have a satisfying answer for you, but I have a fascination with Russia: the country, the culture, the art and beauty of the people. So when I saw that FOCUS has a Russian mission trip, I immediately investigated. 

The website only had the information from the 2011 trip, but it says 

"Under communist rule, the practice of Christianity was illegal in Russia. Now, in the post-Cold War era, the people of Russia are still recovering from oppression. Come bring the hope of Christ to them on this summer Mission! 

On this mission you will catechize the youth of Russia who are longing for a Christ like example of love and mercy. We will be working with Fr. Myron Effing, an American priest who has been in Russia for an extended period of time. He has helped found an order of priests to minister in Russia and played a key effort in re-evangelizing the post-communist community in Vladivostok. Fr. Myron’s parish feeds meals to 40-50 children from single-family homes each week. Most of these children reside in Soviet-style single room apartments with their parents.

The mission is to put on a summer youth camp for the children in the wilderness of Lesovovodsk, showing them what it truly means to live a life for Christ. Come impact the future of Russia by ministering to the youth!"

Now doesn't that just sound amazing? Russia is experiencing the degradation of the family. In this article it claims that 60 out of every 100 marriages in Russia ends in divorce. That's over half of families split. The orphanages are full of unwanted children. I heard stories from this mission trip that when you hold a baby they grab onto you tightly because they are so starved for love and attention that they do not want to let you go. Oh, to hold all the babies. 

Moral of the story: immediately added to the prayer list is that it is in God's plan that I have the opportunity to head to Russia; and that you, my readers pray if God is asking you to sacrifice by partaking in foreign or domestic mission (check out the FOCUS missions page for information on our missions).

For Greater Glory

Happy feast of the Holy Trinity! 

This morning after Mass, a friend and I booked it, all 1.2 miles to my car, to make it to a showing of For Greater Glory, the new movie just out this weekend about the Cristeros (soldiers of Christ) and the conflict between the Mexican government and the Catholic Church. Wow. Talk about powerful! I'll try not to give too much away. My parents had told me it was pretty sad and to bring tissues, but I was not expecting to cry through the ENTIRE movie. We were a few minutes late, but not 5 minutes after arriving I promptly burst into tears...aaand didn't stop until 20 minutes into the car ride home. 

At one point, the Federales are shown barging into churches and killing priests, so that was pretty heart wrenching after coming from a beautiful Mass this morning. But in one church, after they hung the priest, they showed the soldiers smashing statues, shooting the tabernacle, and burning the crucifix. I know that those are not real people, but I love God and Our Lady so much that it hurt to see them so disrespected. More tears. <<<SPOILER>>> And just when you think it's over, the credits roll and they mention that the priest who gets shot in the head manages to live for a few short hours - just long enough to go to confession. Even more tears. And sobbing. 

But what a beautiful movie. One of the priests says toward the beginning that "there is no greater glory than to die for what you believe in". And as these Catholics are being murdered, every single one of them forgives their killer. Every single one prays for God to have mercy on their souls. What a beautiful message. I told my friend in the car back how humbling it was that they could truly forgive them while I had a hard time not being angry, let alone forgiving, someone who emotionally wounded a dear friend of mine. What a long way I have to go in my spiritual journey. But thank God for all of these saints who had such heroic virtue! St. José Luis Sanchez, pray for us! ¡Viva Cristo Rey!

Walmart and Wine

So someone posted a picture of my college from women's rec night! In case you were wondering why we all have matching red marks on our foreheads, it's because St. Rita was a stigmatist - she received the wound of one of the thorns from Jesus' crown of thorns.

Ah, Saturdays. Saturdays mean I get to sleep in until 9! Woohoo! I like Saturdays.

Started the day off with Mass, then a fellow missionary and I went on a journey to Walmart. I needed two things. Two. How many did I walk out with you ask? More than two. I am so not my father's daughter in that respect. My dad is very good about sticking to the list. Maybe it's the curse of the woman, but any store, no matter what they sell, screams SHOPPING OPPORTUNITY. So I found the nail polish remover and conditioner (yeah, I know - I thought I packed enough, but it has become apparent that that is NOT the case), the two things I needed...and then we wandered to find a sweatshirt  - after spending half an hour in the makeup isles - but we decided we wanted to share a bottle of wine. So then there was the dilemma of choosing the bottle (we ended up with a bottle of Moscato and Pino Noir). But then we realized we didn't have anything to drink them in, so a search for cups commenced. Then we realized we didn't have anything to OPEN the bottles. And there was our first mistake. On the way to search for a wine bottle opener (I don't have one, and it's a nice thing to have if you invite someone over for wine as a missionary. Already thinking in terms of my mission) we passed by the $5 movie bin. Mistake #2. For about 45 minutes we searched through practically every single DVD in that bin...let me tell you there are a lot of them. We probably would have walked away sooner, BUT we found Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.

I am ashamed to admit, I have never seen or read the Lord of the Rings. I know, I know. One of my closest friends is probably the biggest LotR fans in the world, so it poses a real problem to our friendship. I've been trying to read/watch them for the past two years, but it just hasn't happened yet. Back at Walmart, I mentioned to my friend that I hadn't seen them, but if we found the first one in the bin, I would be willing to buy it. Mistake #3. That was when we decided to overturn the bin in our quest for The Fellowship of the Ring. After about 25 minutes where we were all over that bin, our things on the floor by our feet, I decided to go check the isles and see if the first installment was there. Lo and behold! I found the whole Trilogy for $13! Needless to say, I walked out of Walmart with The Trilogy of the Lord of the Rings, a wine bottle opener, a bottle of Beringer Moscato, nail polish remover, and conditioner.

After working for most of the afternoon, we rewarded ourselves with a glass of the Moscato and the first half of The Fellowship of the Ring (we were too tired to continue - isn't that sad?). It has been a very productive day.

Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, Pray for Us

Well, it's official: I will be serving at Seton Hall in South Orange, New Jersey!

For those who know me, I am definitely a warm weather girl, so many prayers would be appreciated on the weather front. It was a bit of a shock and I spent last night talking through the assignment with Jesus and the best discipler in the world. But while I am still a little apprehensive about the winters, I am so excited to be going to Seton. I know that it was supernatural intervention because St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, the namesake of the university, is my patron saint. Apparently, I haven't been paying enough attention to her lately. It is a small Catholic school, just like Belmont Abbey, so I know the general dynamic I am walking in to. Some people may think it's strange to have a FOCUS team at a Catholic campus, but if our job is to prepare a fresh wave of soldiers of Christ, where better to start than with those who already have the foundation and simply need to be sent into the battle? Please start praying for all the women on campus who I and the two other women missionaries will be ministering to.

St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Pray for us!